Prose About Love

I need 10 prose passages about love for reading at a civil wedding.

In particular I would like soemthing funny, preferably by P G Wodehouse.



One thought on “Prose About Love

  1. I have gathered some plum quotes about love from the inimitable P.G. Wodehouse.

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    "Some time before, when he had found it impossible for him to be in

    her presence, still less to converse with her, without experiencing a

    warm, clammy, shooting sensation and a feeling of general weakness

    similar to that which follows a well-directed blow at the solar

    plexus, he had come to the conclusion that he must be in love."

    from P.G. Wodehouse's "The Coming of Bill"

    http://www.everyauthor.com/modules/wfsection/article.php?articleid=225

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    "Dudley Pickering was not a self-starter in the motordrome of love. He

    needed cranking. He was that most unpromising of matrimonial material,

    a shy man with a cautious disposition. If he overcame his shyness,

    caution applied the foot-brake. If he succeeded in forgetting caution,

    shyness shut off the gas."

    "The consequence was that, in the days that followed the Reigelheimer

    episode, what Lord Wetherby would have called the lamp of love burned

    rather low in Mr Pickering, as if the acetylene were running out."

    "Gloom had settled upon Dudley Pickering and he smoked sadly. All

    rather stout automobile manufacturers are sad when there is a full

    moon. It makes them feel lonely. It stirs their hearts to thoughts of

    love. Marriage loses its terrors for them, and they think wistfully of

    hooking some fair woman up the back and buying her hats."

    from P.G. Wodehouse's "Uneasy Money"

    http://wodehouse.thefreelibrary.com/Uneasy-Money/10-1

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    "Claire was speaking again. She had paused for a while after her

    recent speech, in order to think of something else to say; and during

    this pause had come to her mind certain excerpts from one of those

    admirable articles on love, by Luella Delia Philpotts, which do so

    much to boost the reading public of the United States into the higher

    planes. She had read it that afternoon in the Sunday paper, and it

    came back to her now.

    'I may be hypersensitive,' she said, dropping her voice from the

    accusatory register to the lower tones of pathos, 'but I have such

    high ideals of love. There can be no true love where there is not

    perfect trust. Trust is to love what–'

    She paused again. She could not remember just what Luella Delia

    Philpotts had said trust was to love. It was something extremely neat,

    but it had slipped her memory.

    'A woman has the right to expect the man she is about to marry to

    regard their troth as a sacred obligation that shall keep him as pure

    as a young knight who has dedicated himself to the quest of the Holy

    Grail. And I find you in a public restaurant, dancing with a creature

    with yellow hair, upsetting waiters, and staggering about with pats of

    butter all over you'."

    "Absence is the acid-test of love that separates the base metal from

    the true… But as for love–love is not a machine. It cannot be

    shattered and put together again."

    from P.G. Wodehouse's "Uneasy Money"

    http://wodehouse.thefreelibrary.com/Uneasy-Money/12-1

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    "…he turned abruptly and stalked into his cottage, where he drank

    tea and ate bacon and thought chaotic thoughts. And when his appetite

    declined to carry him more than half-way through the third rasher, he

    understood. He was in love.

    These strong, silent men who mean to be head-gardeners before they are

    thirty, and eliminate woman from their lives as a dangerous obstacle

    to the successful career, pay a heavy penalty when they do fall in

    love."

    "Why, then, did not Thomas Kitchener give Sally Preston flowers? Well,

    you see, unfortunately, it was now late autumn, and there were no

    flowers. Nature had temporarily exhausted her floral blessings, and

    was jogging along with potatoes and artichokes and things. Love is

    like that. It invariably comes just at the wrong time. A few months

    before there had been enough roses in Tom Kitchener's garden to win

    the hearts of a dozen girls. Now there were only vegetables, 'Twas

    ever thus."

    "It is singular how diffident a normally self-confident man can

    become, once he is in love."

    from P.G. Wodehouse's "Something to Worry About"

    http://wodehouse.thefreelibrary.com/The-Man-Upstairs-and-Other-Stories/2-1

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    "The Wise Man stroked his beard.

    'My son,' he said, 'the matter is simple. True love takes no account of looks.'

    'No?' said Agravaine.

    'You two are affinities. Therefore, to you the outward aspect is

    nothing. Put it like this. Love is a thingummybob who

    what-d'you-call-its.'

    'I'm beginning to see,' said Agravaine.

    'What I meant was this. Love is a wizard greater than Merlin. He plays

    odd tricks with the eyesight.'

    'Yes,' said Agravaine.

    'Or, put it another way. Love is a sculptor greater than Praxiteles.

    He takes an unsightly piece of clay and moulds it into a thing

    divine.'

    'I get you,' said Agravaine.

    The Wise Man began to warm to his work.

    'Or shall we say–'

    'I think I must be going,' said Agravaine. 'I promised my wife I would

    be back early.'

    'We might put it–' began the Wise Man perseveringly.

    'I understand,' said Agravaine, hurriedly. 'I quite see now. Good-bye.'

    The Wise Man sighed resignedly.

    'Good-bye, Sir Knight,' he said. 'Good-bye. Pay at ye desk'."

    from P.G. Wodehouse's "Sir Agravaine: A Tale Of King Arthur's Round Table"

    http://wodehouse.thefreelibrary.com/The-Man-Upstairs-and-Other-Stories/17-1

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    "Love's young dream, I muses to myself, how swift it fades when a man

    has the nature and disposition of a lop-eared rabbit!"

    from P.G. Wodehouse's "By Advice Of Counsel"

    http://wodehouse.thefreelibrary.com/The-Man-Upstairs-and-Other-Stories/5-1

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    "Love might tug and tug again, but never more should the trousers of

    passion break away from the tough, masterful braces of self-control."

    from P.G. Wodehouse's "Ahead of Schedule"

    http://www.literaturepage.com/read/wodehouse-the-man-upstairs-254.html

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    "In affairs of love the strongest men generally behave with the most

    spineless lack of resolution."

    from P.G. Wodehouse's "Wilton's Holiday"

    http://www.literaturepage.com/read.php?titleid=man-with-two-left-feet&abspage=50&bookmark=1

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    "Love (says the Oldest Member) is an emotion which your true golfer

    should always treat with suspicion. Do not misunderstand me. I am not

    saying that love is a bad thing, only that it is an unknown quantity.

    I have known cases where marriage improved a man's game, and other

    cases where it seemed to put him right off his stroke. There seems to

    be no fixed rule."

    from P.G. Wodehouse's "A Woman is Only a Woman"

    http://beta.classicreader.com/read.php/bookid.3064/

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    "He had never seen her before, for she had only arrived at her aunt's

    house on the previous day, but he was perfectly certain that life,

    even when lived in the midst of gravel soil, main drainage, and

    company's own water, was going to be a pretty poor affair if he did

    not see her again. Yes, Cuthbert was in love: and it is interesting to

    record, as showing the effect of the tender emotion on a man's game,

    that twenty minutes after he had met Adeline he did the short eleventh

    in one, and as near as a toucher got a three on the four-hundred-yard

    twelfth."

    from P.G. Wodehouse's "The Clicking of Cuthbert"

    http://www.classicreader.com/read.php/sid.6/bookid.3062/

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    "In making love, as in every other branch of life, consistency is the

    quality most to be aimed at. To hedge is fatal. A man must choose the

    line of action that he judges to be best suited to his temperament,

    and hold to it without deviation. If Lochinvar snatches the maiden up

    on his saddle-bow, he must continue in that vein. He must not fancy

    that, having accomplished the feat, he can resume the episode on lines

    of devotional humility. Prehistoric man, who conducted his courtship

    with a club, never fell into the error of apologizing when his bride

    complained of headache."

    from P.G. Wodehouse's "The Intrusion of Jimmy"

    http://www.classicreader.com/read.php/sid./bookid.2093/sec.19/

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    "War is war, and love is love, and in each the practical man inclines

    to demand from his fellow-workers the punch rather than a lofty soul."

    from P.G. Wodehouse's "A Damsel in Distress"

    http://www.classicreader.com/read.php/sid./bookid.297/sec.11/

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    "Marriage, the dynamite of the soul; that was what hit Bobbie. He

    married. Have you ever seen a bull-pup chasing a bee? The pup sees the

    bee. It looks good to him. But he still doesn't know what's at the end

    of it till he gets there. It was like that with Bobbie. He fell in

    love, got married–with a sort of whoop, as if it were the greatest

    fun in the world–and then began to find out things."

    from P.G. Wodehouse's "My Man Jeeves"

    http://www.everyauthor.com/modules/wfsection/article.php?articleid=626

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    "You know, the way love can change a fellow is really frightful to

    contemplate. This chappie before me, who spoke in that absolutely

    careless way of macaroons and limado, was the man I had seen in

    happier days telling the head-waiter at Claridge's exactly how he

    wanted the chef to prepare the sole frite au gourmet aux champignons,

    and saying he would jolly well sling it back if it wasn't just right.

    Ghastly! Ghastly!"

    from P.G. Wodehouse's "Jeeves in the Springtime"

    http://www.classicreader.com/read.php/sid.6/bookid.3052/

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    I hope this is helpful! Thanks for a very enjoyable project.

    Best regards,

    pinkfreud

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