Best friend has new best friend – Family & People

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Hi,
This is my first time posting a question so I’m a little nervous:) My best friend of almost 8 years has become very close with another woman. We all teach at the same school and exercise together. For some reason, I do not trust this person… she is nice but seems to be overwhelming to me. For example, she talks quite a bit when we are all together. My best friend adores her… whenever this person walks into the room, my best friend just lights up. They laugh and talk in whispers and I feel so left out. My best friend and this woman like to go out and drink about every 6 weeks or so… I don’t go with them because I hate how they act when they are drunk. My best friend is now telling this woman secrets that she use to only tell me… what should I do? I love my best friend very much and I want her to be happy. Do I just walk away and let her go? Are my feelings unreasonable? I want to do what is right but whenever I see them together it hurts so much. Is there something wrong with me? Thanks

Answer

Your feelings aren’t unreasonable and it is easy to see how their relationship would make you feel jealous.

I don’t believe that you have to give up this friendship, but it will definitely change while this person is in the picture. While the new person has new stories and she is more attentive to this person right now, that may not always be the case. Things will slow down and this person may not even stay in the picture for the long haul.

For the time being your relationship with her needs to be adjusted to scheduling ‘dates’ with your friend that do not involve being the third wheel. Just tell your friend nicely how you feel and that you don’t want to interfer but you don’t feel that same connection with the newest member and would like for some time to get together alone.

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