How do I deal with a Evil Step Mother from Hell? – Family & People

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After my Dad married my stepmom (she was pregnant) when I was 10 years old, she never seemed to like my brother and I. She was cold and always complained to my Dad that we didn’t like her cooking and other things.

About 2 years later my brother and I moved to Hawaii. My Dad and she had their second daughter soon after. My dad tried to keep in touch over the phone but calls got less and less as we seemed to grow apart and have separate lives. When I called to speak to him and she answered the phone, she never tried to chat or ask how we were and just passed the phone off to my dad.

During the 30 years that I was in Hawaii, I had only seen my Dad twice! Once when I came back to Florida at 15 when my maternal grandmother was dying, and once when I paid my dad’s way to come to Hawaii to meet his grandchildren when I was 25 years old. I remember my stepmother arguing with him on the phone when he came to visit and my dad saying she was a cold heartless person!

Well, I moved back to Florida recently at 41 years old. My Step Mom didn’t welcome me with even a smile and there weren’t any photos of my brother, myself, or our children among the pictures of my 2 half sisters and neices!

I’ve come to find out just how cold she really is and I just can’t believe it! My father and younger sister have told me the horrors! My Step Mom has told my dad to forget about my brother and I, that his family, (the one he created with her), is here.

She even told my Dad he shouldn’t go to his father’s funeral because he didn’t raise him! When he came to Hawaii, she accused him of abandoning her and my sisters and tried to make his life miserable! When he returned from Hawaii after spending 2 weeks with me, she treated him so bad that he ended up living in his truck for a week.

He had to hide the pictures and home videos taken in Hawaii with his children and grandchildren, and he has no idea what happened to them, but they went missing! She is in complete control of all the money and my dad can’t even get gas money to come visit me 3 hours away! When I visit him, he constantly complains about how miserable he is, but that he is too old to start a new life.

They sleep in separate rooms and haven’t slept together in 15 years. My dad is always on the verge of tears and feels like he’s going to explode. When I tell him of other options his excuses are: he’s worked his whole life to pay off their house, he will miss his grandchildren if he leaves, he can’t afford to move out on his social security, he worked his whole life making more money than her but never had medical or retirement, and counts on her medical and retirement.

Every time I give him hope of making it without her, he gives me reasons he can’t. I spent Thanksgiving with them and over the course of 3 days, she made passive aggressive and rude comments about everything I cooked! She doesn’t like bell peppers, cabbage, tofu, cream cheese, coconut, etc.

Before I left for home that evening, I told my dad how rude she had been and about her comments. My anger, hurt, and fustration led to tears and telling my dad how badly I want to confront her and tell her off for trying to keep my dad away from me for all these years!

I told him that I was so hurt and angry that I would probably reach out and touch the b****! He begged me not to say anything because she would treat him so bad and he would end up on my couch in a week! Even if I try to confront her in a positive way, I know she will get defensive and I will get explosive and my dad will probably not defend my side of things!

I left in tears and with violent thoughts about getting even with her! I think she is jealous and insecure of me! She is not a good cook and people don’t care for what she does cook. At Thanksgiving dinner, my sister’s in-law were complimenting my dishes that I made and no one complimented anything she made which made her hate on me even more.

I have always tried to compliment her food even when I didn’t like it. I have never been rude or made negative comments towards her. My dad wants me to move closer to him but I honestly cannot stand being around that house of negativity for very long before I want to punch her in the face!

My dad says the only thing that makes her happy is shopping and that she has always complained about everything. It’s like she wants everyone’s attention and no matter how much attention she is given, it’s never enough and she’s always throwing a pity party! She has “Poor Me Syndrome” something awful!

I think she needs to be on anti-depressents! My Dad keeps his mouth shut because he says he holds so much in for so that when he does explode he loses it and then the fighting doesn’t stop between them! I’ve reluctantly agreed to try this one more time for Christmas because I love my Dad and my sister (the other sister is seemingly as cold and stand off-ish as my stepmom).

She’s had him to her self for 30 years and now that I’m back in his life, I can’t believe she wouldn’t be happy for us and help us all rebuild our relationships! Frustrated, Angry, and hurt!

I need some really good advice on how to deal with this Evil Stepmother from Hell and a passive Dad! If I say nothing, I’m not being true to my own feelings and if I say how I feel, she will make my dad miserable and I probably won’t be able to go to my dad’s house.

Answer

There must be a mistake! So if my father goes into the hospital and is dying, my stepmother could keep me from seeing him? If this is true then tell me what can I do to prevent something like this from happening to me in the future! My dad isn’t in the best of health and he wouldn’t survive a bad battle with congestion. He doesn’t want to be with my stepmom but feels he is too old to start over. They haven’t slept together in over 15 years and just co-exist in the same house! She hates that he had two children from his previous marriage and has done everything to keep him out of our lives. Should he get a statement noterized or add something to his will, or add me as dual power of attorney in regards to health issues? This scars me because it could very well happen to me.

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