How Do My Wife & I Handle Waiter / Waitreses Misidentification of Me ? – Society & Culture


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I am a 57 year old man diagnosed with Pan Hypopituitarism since childhood. The pituitary gland for some reason did not (& has not) produce sufficient growth hormones for physical development. So I have a baby face with no facial hair, a head full of short curly hair (from my Mom), and some gynecomastia going on (increased breast tissue, often called man boobs). My wife of 9 + years and I can go out to eat after a Sunday service with me dressed in a suit & tie, men’s dress shoes & the works. The problem is the waiters or waitresses will address us as “How are you ladies doing today”, or I get Yes Mam. My wife and I will connect visually and smirk or smile as if to say here we go again, she says it is my hair, but its not worn in a feminine way.There are other times when I have a ball cap on and I hear Thank You Mam. My voice is medium pitch. On the phone I can be identified as male. We don’t want to slam anyone but we are tired of this continuing. At work its worst because we have to wear hair nets. On the back of my work smock, I have made a letter “O” in my last name the symbol for the male, O with the arrow at a 45 degree angle; because so many times new hires who don’t know me will say “That woman told me to do this or they will say I thought that was a woman. We would be very appreciative for any help in this matter. Thanks ASK ME


Well one way would be that when you see them approaching, have your wife say something like “I’m so glad that you’re my husband” or “You’re not only the man in my life, you are my rock” it’s called eavesdrop persuasion. That will head off most issues at the pass, if you want another method, when the waitress gets there, even before she says something say “Can you believe this wonderful woman has been my wife for over nine years” it will answer any gender questions, put you both in a good mood and you’ll get better service because they will think that A. you are celebrating an anniversary or B. You’re very sweet

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