I have no say, what should I do? – Family & People

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My mother has a lump inside her and has to go to hospital for a few days. My father lives in Queensland and wants to come down to look after me while and after she is in hospital. I really dislike my father and he doesn’t understand. I guess I should add to the picture the fact that I was adopted and am nothing like either of my parents.
My mother wants me to start accepting my father again, but I can’t. I resent him. Even the thought of him makes me angry and upset. I get so cross I could do something I might regret. Ever since I was young he used my mum and yelled at me and told me I was pathetic and worthless. Now I’m older he wants to be a father again. I used to feel sorry for him and hope that he would change, and every time I saw him I would get my hopes up and then realise he wasn’t going to change. I went through this so many times that now I don’t want anything to do with him. My mother is a peacemaker, a lovely lady but a pushover when it comes to him. Completely different from my father. She wants him to come back while she is sick, she makes me talk to him on the phone, she lets him do what he wants. I can’t take it if he comes back at all. I don’t want to see him. When he is here I cry EVERY NIGHT. What do I do? How do I stop him from coming back? What if something happens to my mother? I have no one

Answer

First: It is your choice on who you like and do not like. This so called father of yours as you are concerned is not your father. He is abusive and you prefer him not to be around. Well that is how you feel. Does your Father know you feel this way about him, does your mother know exactly how much this will hurt you if he comes to stay.

How old are you, because age has a lot to do with whether you can take care of yourself or not.

Second: You should be there for your mother, have you said this to her, that you wanted to be with her? It is only for a few days right.

Third: You need to have faith that your mom is going to be fine. If something does happen then deal with it then, but right at this time your mother is here so make the best of the time that you do have with her.

Fourth: There is no reason to cry, if he does come. Just try to stay out of his way and it would only be for a short time right?

Joe

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