Is this the end – Family & People

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Hi, I’m new to this site but I am in love with the opinions and advice that everyone gives. OK I been dating this girl for about 3 months, everything was awesome, until around the 3rd month, when we took a trip to orlando. I was extremely mean to her, because she made me feel very uncomfortable. When we got back home everything SEEMED to be back to normal. I was the one in the relationship at first that always had doubts and never really liked to communicate about our problems, but out of no where 1 1/2 weeks after the trip on a Saturday night we talk and things are different, I hear a different tone and I notice she doesn’t really want to talk, also the night before that she went to a club with her friend(the friend that told her when she got back from orlando that it wasn’t to late to end things with me because we weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend yet). So she hung up Saturday early on me and it was just weird, so the next day we talked and everything was fine until that night, and then the same thing happened, so Monday comes around and we don’t talk at all, and I call her up around 7 that night and she picks up, and she is crying about how she is having problems with her family and stuff like that, so I talk to her and make her feel better but I ask her if she feels any different for me, and she said no, its just the whole family thing that been making her different, she said she didn’t want to loose me. So Tuesday comes and I call her up and all of a sudden she is like a totally different person, she starts talking about how what I tell her is bull and that she has something on me(like dirt) and that she is not going to tell me but she just doesn’t trust me.. and I’m like what! Where did that come from, so I ask her if she still wants to do this like continue dating, and she doesn’t give an answer, and I was shocked. That never happened, she said she didn’t know. So we talked and at the end of the conversation she brought up the whole lets just be friends thing, and that really blew me away, like I never thought she would say that, so I was trying to communicate with her and solve the problem, but she said she just feels different, ever since we went to orlando I just felt different, she said. So I was shocked again, because usually her and I would talk about our feelings and get past that and move on. Then wenday night we talked and I told her how I felt and she was crying and she said sometimes when I talk like that it makes her want to say I love u, so I was like yessss, I gott her back lol but then later that night we talked and then she was like, ” we always talk but its like we never move forward” and I was soooo shocked because I thought we were going along just fine, we agreed to take things slow and build a relationship upon friendship. So I ask her is the reason for all this because I haven’t asked you out yet and she bluntly said “YES, i mean things would have been different if u did ask me out” and I said well I thought we agreed to wait, and she didn’t say anything. She just kept saying that she feels different and that she doesn’t know anymore )because of me being mean and making her cry in orlando, she said I hurt her emotionaly), before she was so sure and now she said she has doubts, but I told her that doubts aren’t always bad, I had doubts but I worked past those feelings and my feelings for her grew stronger. I told her that she shouldn’t give up and that we should work at it but she said things should just flow, she doesn’t want to make it seem like we are trying to hard to make it happen ( which I use to say at like the 1-2 month period all the time ). So I was like ooooooooook. So Thursday comes and I call her when I wake up, I call her before I go work out, I call her 2 more times and she doesn’t answer, I’m over here freakin out because it feels like she is at the point of like I hope this guy stops bothering me, you know what I’m saying? And I hate to bother someone, I don’t want to make it seem like I’m desperate but I just wanted some closure and she wasn’t giving it to me, so I decided to tell her I just wanted to be friends, but I really don’t want to be just friends, I just don’t see us being together right now, and we eventually talked later that night, and I told her that her friendship is more important to me then anything else, which is true ( yet I don’t want to be put in the friend zone, that happened to me before and I don’t want it to happen again ) so I told her that my feelings have changed as well and that I just want to start things over, take it slow, start from scratch and let things flow, and she agreed, and we had a normal conversation after that, I asked her if she wanted to go to dinner with me and she said how about lunch, and I know that lunch is more of a friend thing and dinner is more of a date thing so I told her breakfast lol, and she agreed. So here’s the question after this long and exausting page I’m writing you guys/ladies, how can her feelings change so much in the span of like 12 days, that’s question 1, and question 2, do you think there is a chance to get her feelings back even though she said they changed. I mean she really did change me for the better even in 3 months, I learned a lot from our relationship, and take this into consideration, we chilled like everyday and became really close friends. So I’m not hoping anything will happen but what I want to do is get her feelings back for me, even if they come back slowly I want to get them back, do you guys/ladies think that’s possible? Or do you think that their is no chance and that once a persons feelings is gone then it’s the end of that relationship and just move on.

Answer

Hi, vincentescobar!

You’ve just written a lot in your original question. It sounds like you analyze things and awful lot.

I’m going to ask you a couple of simple questions and would, in exchange, appreciate simple answers.

Why were you mean to her in Orlando?

Have you apologized for the way that you acted then?

Thanks!

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