My best friend won’t talk to me anymore – Page 2 – Family & People

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Over the past 3 years I developed a very close relationship with a female friend – we talked almost every day, went to the gym together, worked on school volunteer commitees together, etc. . During this time she opened up to me and told me all about her problems with her spouse and I encouraged her to talk to a professional about it. She did and started seeing a counselor with and a counselor without her husband.
A few months ago, we had a big argument over really nothing, I apologized and she told me that it was all o.k. and all was forgiven, and I believe her. However, as time has passed she has become more and more withdrawn, will not share anything personal anymore, will not return phone calls or emails and doesn’t want to do anything together anymore, she told me “it’s not personal” but wouldn’t tell me why she doesn’t have time for anythign anymore. It’s the same excuse: ” I have too many things to do”.
I am heart broken over this, I have a ton of friends, a big extended family 2 blocks away and an amazingly supportive husband and four great kids, but I feel like part of me is now missing. She was the one friend I could be completely honest with and she helped me overcome some major personal obstacles and now I feel abandoned and thrown out.
Part of me wants to keep doing what I always did as far as supportive phone calls and emails and part of me is very hurt.
Any insight on her behaviour or how to deal with it would be great.
Thank you for reading, this is tearing me apart and my husband and kids are getting frustrated with my moping around.

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Answer

I am dreading the start of our new project… how do you work with someone who doesn’t answer your emails when you need the stuff they are doing?? Quote.

I believe you can’t make someone care about you, if they don’t. So if you need “stuff they are doing”, maybe find some other way of finding the stuff somewhere else instead.

I believe you have shown how much you care. The ball is in her court to either receive it or not. That is all you can do. Sometimes, we lose friends in our lives that mean a lot to us. Sometimes it can take years before we realize how much they meant to us. Sometimes some people have to work on their own problems before they are open to being open to someone else again. There are a lot of reasons people lose touch.

Like me, I have this friend named Sue. We were inseparable as teenagers and young adults. Did everything together. But later in life, we were on opposite paths. She was still out partying every weekend, while I was home breast feeding.

Now, she is home breast feeding and I am again out partying!

We lost touch because our lives weren’t similar at the same time. I still think of her often, especially around the holidays.

You know that sort of friend that if you picked up the phone even after years of not talking, you can bring yourself right back to where you were without difficulty. Like no time has elapsed. Real friends are there, forever. All it takes is a phone call. An email. A letter. And although, you maybe on different paths at the time, the strength of the relationship is always there. Because of memories. And because of the love you shared for each other. Now that is a life long friend. Love you, Sue!

Maybe there’s hope for us to be on the same path together in our fifties? But I think we will look funny being metal heads by that time!? And then again, maybe not. Lets get thrashed!

I think I need to call her! Now where’s that number, again?

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