My friend is chosing her baby dad over me. – Family & People

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I know when you have a man that you want to be with them all the time, this is my problem. Her and her baby’s dad with each other for over eight years. As long as I known her I’ve known him. When they first had their child she was at home taking care of their child while he was gone fishing with his friends all the time and all hours through the night. I had always been their for her when she complained about him. I never talked bad about him, but she is tell me that he is talking bad about me. Sometime me and him would get a long, but I think he hated the fact that she could call me when they were having problems and I even heard him say if I pick her up that he was going to hurt me. I even let him stay at my apartment for two weeks straight and didn’t ask for anything and even after that he would stay at my apartment when I was at work. Pretty much for the whole eight years I have been taking care of her and when I finally got my apartment I let her move in with me rent free and I would let her boyfriend stay. That was the time me and him got along pretty good. Then all of a sudden she moves out to be with him. Come to find out she has told her boyfriend lies about me. I still stayed friends with her after she stole from me. When they get into a fight that has something to do with me it wouldn’t even be my fault and then she would be mad at him and then should leave with him. The last draw is when she told him a lie that nobody should ever lie about to him and that’s when I ended it. What do you think is her problem? She says she is not in love with him but they do have a child together that they do not have? She constantly lies to make herself look good.

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You sound like a very loyal friend, but you’ve been all used up by those two.

When you are the only one giving, and they are only taking, the relationship is unbalanced, and unhealthy.

You have to stop and think about who’s needs are being met.

Get out a pencil and paper, and list all the pros of your relationship with each of them, then list the cons- be as honest as you can, no excuses for their behaviour.

A good friendship is equal most of the time. It is respectful, and honest. Both parties benefit from the mutual give and take.

When it is, or becomes, a heavy burden, and obviously beneficial only to the ones taking from you, then there is no friendship, and its time to get out.

Easy call to make? No. But, if you choose to stay involved with them, you have only yourself to blame.

Good luck.

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