Should I resume the friendship with my best friend of so many years ?


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I met my best friend in elementary school. I remember her 10th birthday’s party vividly and since then we have been the best of friends and have kept in contact throughout the years (40!) as much as possible. We are now 50. We have had very different lives, but have managed to keep the friendship going in spite of the different paths we took in life. She got married when she was 18, and I traveled for a couple of years before I started college. She dropped college when she got married and became a housewife and had three children. I never got married and have no kids. (She later went back to college and also got divorced about 5 years ago.)
Last year, her oldest daughter got married and her son got married too. Her daughter didn’t like me that much, so I wasn’t surprised when I wasn’t invited to her wedding. However, I got along really well with her son. They had a party before the actual wedding and we had talked I would go to that party, but later got the shock of my life when she told me that it was strictly for the family. I couldn’t believe it. Then, she said she had my invitation for the actual wedding and if I could pass by her house to get it. I said I would. I then called her on two different occasions to do just that, but she was always busy. So I waited for her to call me and she never did until a couple of days before the wedding. I told her that since I didn’t even know the exact date, etc. I had no dress and had not gotten a gift and probably wouldn’t be going. And so, I didn’t attend the ceremony, nor the party. We haven’t spoken since. I feel she should have made me a part of this special moment in her life, so I haven’t called her. I don’t really ever get mad at people to the point of confronting them or anything like that, I just lose interest on the person and move on. We have never ever had a misunderstanding in all these years, but it seems that now we drifted apart for good, because it’s been a whole year with either one calling the other. I don’t miss her terribly, but I don’t have that many close friends either, so it’s probably not the wisest move to cut her off entirely.
Also, I need some help with some renovations I’m doing in the house, and she is an interior designer. I was thinking on calling her to patch things up so that we can resume the friendship and at the same time I can get some help on the design of my new study. What should I do?


If you didn’t need/want the help with the interior design, would you be thinking about calling her up and trying to resume the friendship? If not, then I’d say it’s not really the friendship you are mostly focused on right now and it seems like you only want to do it because of that. If so, then go ahead and give her a call, but hold of on the interior design stuff for a while.

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